The death of Steve McNair..most likely by the hands of his girlfriend...though he was married with four kids basically serves to add fuel to my fire. I started on this path with my Sow An Act Reap A Destiny talk but now I can take it even further with McNair's unfortunate death but lesson to us all..
Over on one of my favorite blogs, A Belle in Brooklyn, Belle wrote in the comments section:
I've noticed quite often that men look a cheating as "I was just fucking that girl, I was gonna get right back" (cue Jay-Z) without considering the very real consequences of their actions-- like at the very least the wife's grief, how it could affect the family, the diseases he could bring home to his wife (condoms break and herpes is easily spread with one), the possibility for outside children, and the drama that they are placing themselves and their families in, a wife leaving with half. The repercussions of cheating are far and wide. I'd say just ask McNair, but uh...
In short..I concur but since I don't feel like being short I'm gonna express exactly why I agree. This past fourth of july I had the pleasure of chatting it up with some guys roughly around my age 23/24 and to test out my latest theory that most men ( read: Black men for now) tend to have a disconnect between their real selves and who they think they can be at some point in the near (read: distant future). So men who are rampant cheaters on their girlfriends during college and early 20s assume that in their 30s they will be ready to act seriously and as a result will somehow get rid of all their cheating ways upon getting married to the woman of their dreams (some men can make it happen that way...im gonna say most men cannot). I can't help but wonder if this was Steve McNair's story...but I digress...
I think Belle hit the nail on the head when she wrote:
I've noticed quite often that men look a cheating as "I was just fucking that girl, I was gonna get right back" (cue Jay-Z) without considering the very real consequences of their actions--
But Im not gonna stop at cheating..I'm beginning to wonder how many men really consider the real consequences of their actions not only in the sense of karmic retribution but in what their actions say about their character.While chatting it up with *Blue this weekend on the topic of promiscous cheating men ( male hos in short) he made a comment that he was a hot commodity (i.e. college-educated, doing his thing in the work force, member of a Black Greek org, last of dying breed..etc), better than many Black men out there and as a result many women wouldn't find better than him...HMMM .I thought to myself...SELF..that just doesn't sound right. My response to him...because you have all of that extra stuff that supposedly makes you a commodity..it also results in you being evaluated differently from a "lesser man"..if you know better do better..if you know better and dont do better...what does that say about you...If I stripped away all your education and those things you think make you a hot commodity and compare your character to that of a lesser man in his words......would both men be made up of the same stuff?..should I expect the same things there?..
At the end of the day...your actions not only yield consequences but they speak volumes about your character. Steve McNair's legacy as a football player is still intact but the lasting impression he leaves as a husband and a father leaves much to be desired. I'm not trying to be a man-basher at all...this is a lesson that men and women alike can appreciate..just so happened that the lens of analysis for today came in a male package..Hehehe :-).
Think on it..tell me what you think
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2 comments:
your friend is right though. Like chris rock said men are as faithful as their options. Look at that killer of mcnair? she went from highschool dropout waiting tables driving a kia to a truck, housing paid for, vacation fun having....killer. I think the Mcnair tradegy is less about cheating men and more about how impossible it is to mix class. Sistah how many wealthy men or women do you know effortlessly mix class? your friend is right to call himself a hot commodity, but I have none of those assets of his and my dating life is about as rich as a highschool dropout waiter. I dont know why females are celebrating mcnairs collapse because this story is so much about class and wealth.
"Like chris rock said men are as faithful as their options"...O yea...Jus, I wish you would explain this more for me...
On another note, I don't see how u can say this is more about class and wealth than about the fact that men apparently experience a real disconnect with the acts they commit( good and bad)..the consequences they will reap as a result ( good or bad) and what these acts say about the content of their character. Like I said..McNair will be remembered as a great football player but this aspect of his personal life will follow him into death as well. Michael Jackson will be remembered for his musical talent and impact on the music industry but the trials for child molestation ( whether true or false)..the bizarre behavior. .etc etc ( we all know the rest) will also follow him to death...My point isn't even about cheating..its about recognizing that karmic retribution isnt the only possible consequence of your actions..the demeaning of your character is too..I should know..I've experienced both.
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