My Mind Over Our Matter: The Human Experience

Are you in love with your mate indefinitely? Is the choice to love according to the right person or is it the right time? You always hear people say I found that special someone, never is it…. I found that right time! In certain instances, it could be that the special person arrived at a right time, so that makes the person and the time "special."What if you have known that special person for a long time but only decided to be with them when you two were ready, hence the right time? Then the question that still remains is… Is it the person or the timing.

Most people our age, or should I say women want that fairytale romance so badly that it may blind them from their true human experience. For example when Carrie met Big on Sex and the City , of course...She dropped her things out of her purse (including a condom hahaha how embarrassing) and there he was to help her pick them up. Her special someone? Their special time? Who knows…
I would argue that what's important is not him being her savior. He was not there to be her Knight in shining armor, he was there to be the man Carrie needed to complete her. Carries human experience was that she was looking for love everywhere, in turn looking for a man everywhere. Big was the man she a woman found and fell completely in love with. She loved his voice, his aura, his body, his hair, his mind, his soul, all that made him Big (no pun intended).

Often times, we configure these romanticized scenarios of how we want our lives to be. Either we alter some facts that we truly experienced or we live our lives hoping for the Cinderella story that stuck with us since childhood. In my efforts to not sound like a complete cynic, I want to assure you that I believe in the power of love, but only when it is true love and not a forced manipulation of its beauty.

I'm remind of a question from the movie The Feast of Love,

"Do you think love is a trick played on us so that we make babies or is it the only meaning there is to this crazy dream?" To that I would answer, it is definitely the latter. It has to be because love encompasses all. It is our passion(as seen in my last post), our loyalty, our family, our friends, our support , our laughs, our dreams; it is everything. I would argue that if you do not think so and you do not experience those aforementioned as love, then you are not living; then you are not experiencing life to its fullest potential.

Back to Big and Carrie , suppose they did not last. Suppose they married and divorced after 6 years. Does that mean they did not love each other? Maybe. Or it could mean that it was their special someone but not their special time, or vice versa.

Most women in their twenties are obsessed with finding their "final relationship." If a woman is 23 and has been dating a man for six years she would be devastated if he ended up breaking up with her for whatever reason. Women develop this tunnel vision for finding their soul mate that they do all that they can to get their man and keep him. I say if after six years and you break up than that’s better than thinking he was right for you the rest of your life. I just wish we could all enjoy what we have while we have it; that’s what this whole life thing is all about. In the words of Alfred Lord Tennyson, Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

Are You enjoying your experience or are you yearning for more?